Sardar Jokes

1- Sardar ji is buying a TV"Do you have color TVs?""Sure.""Give me a green one, please."

2- Sardar Ji calls Air India."How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?""Just a sec," says the rep.Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

3- Sardar ji is filling up a job applicationHe promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.Then came the column SALARY EXPECTEDAfter much thought he writes: Yes

4- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"He said, "It's a Thermos flask."The boss asks, "What does it do?"He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

5- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaintslike "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

6- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

7- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extrasheet?He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

8- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave..."No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and thenwe would become a State of USA and develop automatically."All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surdwas not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCEWE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"
9- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain."I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman."Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returnedto tell the salesman"I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied."Damn, he recognised me," he thought.He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again."I would like to buy this TV.""Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?""Because that's a microwave," he replied.

10- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?Because below 18 was not allowed.

11- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

12- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

13- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

14- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

15- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

16- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

17- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

18- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

19- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

20- What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could have posted it....

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

A Teacher lecturing on population: "In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. " A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "

A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?" Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words. And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what... To avoid side effects!!!

Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab . Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".

Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... " Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her.... Girl said- "What R U doing...?" Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. I don't know how she got my no; she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). " The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College??? A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept

Santa Singh MBBSAfter finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!